A Recipe for Sophie Bancroft

Sophie’s Words: Spoken, written and sung

Recipe for Sophie Bancroft

Ingredients:
23 Greenwood chromosomes
23 Bancroft chromosomes
Placental nutrition
Time
Nurture
Love
Food and Water
Warmth
Various different sized pots and pans
Set oven to 37 degrees Celsius

Preparation time – 9 months
Cooking time – 53 years and counting

  1. Combine the chromosomes in a suitable environment (a nice rioja, soft lighting and romantic music often works best) and allow to gestate for 9 months.
  2. Once baked remove from the oven and swaddle resulting bun in warm, soft blankets, feeding and cuddling at regular intervals.
  3. Once bun starts to walk add 2 twin brothers, 2 dogs, a cat and move to the country.
  4. Add a sprinkle of tortoises, a hutch of guinea pigs and rabbits and a donkey. Bake until hormones start simmering.
  5. Move to Edinburgh.
  6. Using patience, tolerance and some additional rioja, absorb the excess heat of teenage moments whilst nurturing the passion for horses and transfer to a larger pot.
  7. Using a wooden spoon beat the poor music choices to avoid any lumps and place the developing interest in jazz over a low heat.
  8. Transfer the slightly irrelevant university degree to a small sealed jar and place in the fridge whilst keeping the burgeoning music career just below boiling point.
  9. In a clean pan, whisk the unexpected job in jazz education in Oxfordshire well, and then transfer to a large casserole on return to Edinburgh with an unexpected baby.
  10. Keep in oven at a low heat for several years until finding a husband.
  11. Fold in gently using a metal spoon and wedding ring.
  12. Move to the country again and add another baby, a dog, cat and some goldfish.
  13. Slow cook for a further 18 years until both babies have left the pot.
  14. Transfer contents to a smaller pan and see what happens next.

 

Thoughts