Sophie’s Words: Spoken, written and sung
Recipe for Sophie Bancroft
23 Greenwood chromosomes
23 Bancroft chromosomes
Food and Water
Various different sized pots and pans
Set oven to 37 degrees Celsius
Preparation time – 9 months
Cooking time – 53 years and counting
- Combine the chromosomes in a suitable environment (a nice rioja, soft lighting and romantic music often works best) and allow to gestate for 9 months.
- Once baked remove from the oven and swaddle resulting bun in warm, soft blankets, feeding and cuddling at regular intervals.
- Once bun starts to walk add 2 twin brothers, 2 dogs, a cat and move to the country.
- Add a sprinkle of tortoises, a hutch of guinea pigs and rabbits and a donkey. Bake until hormones start simmering.
- Move to Edinburgh.
- Using patience, tolerance and some additional rioja, absorb the excess heat of teenage moments whilst nurturing the passion for horses and transfer to a larger pot.
- Using a wooden spoon beat the poor music choices to avoid any lumps and place the developing interest in jazz over a low heat.
- Transfer the slightly irrelevant university degree to a small sealed jar and place in the fridge whilst keeping the burgeoning music career just below boiling point.
- In a clean pan, whisk the unexpected job in jazz education in Oxfordshire well, and then transfer to a large casserole on return to Edinburgh with an unexpected baby.
- Keep in oven at a low heat for several years until finding a husband.
- Fold in gently using a metal spoon and wedding ring.
- Move to the country again and add another baby, a dog, cat and some goldfish.
- Slow cook for a further 18 years until both babies have left the pot.
- Transfer contents to a smaller pan and see what happens next.